Pictures of Public Humiliation Of Children

I'm so sick of seeing people posting pictures of children being publicly shamed by holding signs or being forced to wear some stupid "get along" shirt with their siblings. Publicly humiliating a child as punishment for committing an undesired behavior does not make him ashamed of what he did, it only makes him ashamed of what is being done TO him! There is a BIG difference. 

Many times we see victims feeling ashamed after being violated in some way when it is not their fault that they were victimized. THAT is the humiliation those children are feeling. They are not learning that their behavior is wrong, they are learning that if you have more power than someone you can humiliate them in order to manipulate them. And we wonder why people in our society are so callused and cruel to each each other. 

Newsflash: those siblings are NOT learning to get along just because parents force them to wear that "get along" shirt together. They are learning to associate misery and humiliation to being with their sibling besides learning that the bigger and more powerful person wins! Worst of all, they are building up anger and resentment toward their parents. Even if some of those children as adults deal with those feelings by excusing their parents because it was done out of "love". Chances are they will grow up to do the same type of manipulation not only to their own children but to other people like their co-workers or their spouses. 

Being a parent is the toughest job in the world, there is no question of it. I think most parents are doing the best they can with what they know. It's time that we learn better ways of teaching our children to be the kind of human beings we want them to be. It begins first by being an example to them of what that is by the way we treat them!

Do No Harm

YES, I so agree with this meme someone posted on Facebook today! I always say when a teenager acts rebellious and disrespectful to her parents it's because she is probably returning the favor of how she was treated as a child. I'm sure there are exceptions, but it is what I have observed for the most part.  Then the parents are clueless wondering what went wrong because they think they did good raising their child with harsh punishments and spankings. Many even think that they should have spanked and punished more! They never realize that the moment they violated the child's human rights to respect and dignity that the trust was broken between them and their child and the child will inevitably would grow to disrespect them and reject their rules because children do as it is done to them. But when a child is raised with respect and dignity the relationship between parent and child becomes stronger and one of trust and mutual respect and that bond goes on to teenagehood and beyond! I know because I have a pre-teen and since we began raising her with respect she has treated us with respect. I see no trace of the problems that the strict parents I know have with their pre-teens or teens. It seems like such common sense but somehow people do not stop to rethink the way they parent even though for many generations it has been shown not to work!

"Do to others as you would have them do to you."~ Jesus Christ (Luke 6:31)

Drawing on the Wall

I was nursing monkey5 in the bedroom when moneky4 came in.  With crayon in hand pointing at the wall and very nonchalantly she asked me "What should I draw mama?".  All my kids have gone through a tagger face where the walls in our home (and a couple of times the walls of our extended families' homes) have become their vast canvas where they would draw stick people and wobbly lined creatures.  With all of them I've had the conversation where I would point out that the walls are not for drawing but that if they want to draw they can use paper. That usually works and they quickly cease their tagging ways.  However with moneky4 it has not been as easy.  I have had that conversation many tomes but she still draws on walls.  Now in my earlier mommy years I would have taken her insistence  as defiance and I would have punished her in some way.  But ever since I have been trying to become a more conscious mom I try to stop and think about the reason behind the behavior.  That morning when she so innocently came in to my bedroom and asked for my opinion on what she should draw, even after our many talks on why she should not draw on the walls made me see her innocence and her desire to express herself in her wall drawings.  A few days before monkey3, who's hobby is to clean the house (no, he did not get it from me!), decided he felt like cleaning the walls.  After monkey4 realised that many of her wall arts had been erased she broke out into sobs of sorrow and anger.  It's then that I began to understand how attached she was to her wall drawing, she was a true artist! So when she asked me for my opinion on what to draw I decided to show her understanding and respect for her desire to draw.  I told her that she still could not draw on the walls (we are renting), but that as soon as we moved and bought our own home I would give her her very own wall where she can draw anything she wanted as many times as she wanted.  He little face lit up with joy and she agreed to draw on paper from now on. That promise is one I fully intend to keep, God willing.

So I Shall Try It Again

I know that I have not kept up very well with writing entries on this blog. When I first began thins blog I was fully intending to do it regularly. Then fear crept in. That fear of exposing too much of my life and the life of my family to total strangers and the fear of being scrutinized and judged by others. Also, the words of my mother growing up who told me never to divulge too much information lest my identity be stolen, my photos be used by some sicko in his web site for other sickos or worse, someone will figure out who I am and who my family is, and they will find us, stalk us, and murder us in the middle of the night while we slept! OK, so that last part about someone finding us, stalking us, killing us was not exactly how my mom put it, but after all her warnings it's the picture I always had in my mind. However after much thought and much more prayer I've decided that I am willing to put more of us out there for various reasons.

One, I really enjoy journaling, specially looking back at journals from years ago and reliving moments in my life both good and not so good and thanking the Lord for all the amazing things HE has done in my life since.

Two, I also love to journal for the sake of my children. I want them to have a record of those same incidents for the same reason that I feel blessed to have them. Also, someday when both Nick and I are gone they can relive those moments they spent with us and hopefully their faith and hope can be encouraged as well. I know there are many ways to keep those records. Photo albums, scrap books, paper journals etc., but I have tried to do those things and failed. Mainly because I have 5 little ones under 11 (yes, some personal info divulged right there, would be stalker comes to mind {{chills}}) and I simply do not have the time nor the energy to put effort into all that scrap booking and such entail. Here however with just a few clicks of the mouse, even as I nurse my baby boy on my lap, I can do it all. I can journal, post pictures, even make it all look decent and all with good spelling (thanks to spell check, ha ha), and which I could NEVER do in the "real" world.

Three, and this is more of a hope than a just reason, perhaps in this vast world of the internet some lady like me, who tries her best to live for the Lord, with her house full of kids, a hubby whom she loves, and more laundry, dirty dishes and dirty floors than she knows what to do with. Not to mention 13 years worth of sleep deprivation and the same hair cut she's had for years, can come and feel that she is not alone in this world. She can say,

"Hey if that goofy, disheveled and overweight chick can do it, shoot, then so can I!"

So here I am, giving it another try. I hope that this time I will find the time to really keep this blog updated as often as possible. I also hope to share pictures of our adventures in Freedom in Christ, and even a few more personal details. In the mean time I will work on defeating that stalker-phobia of mine by remembering that the Lord is our Great protector who, as the lyrics of one of my favorite songs of all time by Veggy Tales says,

"God is bigger than the boogie man".

Love and Blessings!

My heart swells with exitment at the thought of the potential that my dream of going RVing with my clan will finally come true!  Hubby and I have been discussing it for several years, but lately the discussions have been more of plans and not just dreams.  It began a couple of weeks ago with him thinking that there could be a chance for him to get a promotion  at work.  He has been sacrificing so much of his time including time with us and working crazy hard and long hours for that company so when the general manager quit he figured he was next in line for that position.  Well, long story short it seems  his superiors (or slave owners as we so lovingly like to call them) have over looked him and have given the promotion to someone else from another store.  Even though this company is not his dream job it was a disapointment when he realised he would not be getting that promotiomn we feel he so greatly deserves.  But we believe when God allows a  door to close it means that it was the wrong exit so we need to let him lead us to the right one!
Well, after I had a good cry in the shower from the frustration that thes people did not recognise his hard work and from disapontment of loosing the higher income that the promotion wuld have given us I realised that in truth I have been praying for us to get our freedom back that we had when he used to have his own business.   The more I thought about it the more I remember our original dream of traveling the country as a family!  I talked with hubby about it the other day and today he was telling me about some RVs for sale he found online.  The wonder of what adventures could be if God grants us the ability to take off and see the coultry have completly eclipsed any disapointment  from hubby not getting promoted.  In fact I am already greaful for what is to come!  Even if it isn't an RVing life, I know it will be good.  Better than what we could imagine! :)

Joshua David

I'm almost 27 weeks (on Saturday) along in my 5th pregnancy. Nick and I finally decided on the name Joshua David for this new little boy. I am so excited to have a home birth! I am not feeling scared at all thinking of the hard work the birth may be. In fact I am looking forward to this totally new experience. Funny to say "new" even though it will be my 5th birth. However it will be the first time that things are being done as I want and not as some doctor or hospital staff wants. Can't wait! Just 3 more months to go.

midwife

I am so excited that finally I got to mee to a midwife so that I can have a home birth! That has been my dream for so many years. The midwife was very informative. She is a LPN (nurse) and has 20 years experience at a hospital. She answered all our quesrions and eased our concerns. Thankfully Nick was able to be here for the meeting. If all goes well I will go to Phoenix for the first few monthly appointments and she will meet me at my in-laws house in Buckeye. Then she will travel here for the last few appointments before baby is born. She will charge us $2800 instead of her initial estimate of $3500 since we are willing to travel to Buckeye for some appointments. My first appointment will be after I am 13 weeks along, I am 5 weeks now. I CANNOT WAIT!!! Thank you Lord!

4 weeks 5 days.

I feel great! Morning sickness has not hit me full force, though today I got full at dinner and I got 'rid' of half my meal the way it came in, lol. That's cool because I can now have a good motivation not to over eat. I feel peceful and serene, even blissful. It's been a GREAT week for all of us here at home since we found out about the new baby, thank be to God!

#5

Yes, this week we found out that I am preggers with our 5th baby!!! We are so happy and Praising God for this new blessing. As our family grows with love I experience more and more joy and peace in our lives! When we decided to give to God our family and let Him be the true Lord of it it was one of the most liberating things we've ever done! We are free to enjoy our children knowing God will provide for the babies He creates with us, in me and for us to love are raise. My husband and I are free to give ourselves wholly and fully to eachother! No need to be "careful", we just become one, fully immersed in the moment of our love, whenever we want ;). The freedom of not worrying about all the things we used to when we thought we had to control our reproduction is like taking a 1000lb gorilla off our marriage. When we are free in Christ by truly making Him LORD of ALL, we are free indeed!!! Praise you Jesus!

20 Questions and living free

The only thing about living a free and unique life is having to explain yourself to people. In my unschooling,Christian life I've had to answer a legion of questions and objections from people. Most are well meaning and concerned, specially since they are ignorant to the different reason why I chose to live the way I do. They have not done the extensive praying and searching and researching that led me to certain conclusions. Some people however object just for the sake of contradicting me, or so it seems. Their arguments are ridiculous and idiotic. They just spew out what comes to mind with out first thinking through what they are saying. I try to answer them but it's like throwing pearls to swine, or like arguing with a barking dog about why he needs to stop barking. It's pointless really. Either way, there are times when I am eager to explain to those who truly are interested in learning more about my life. But many times I am just not in the mood to answer inquisitions. How can I sum up in a 30 minute conversation a life time of experience? I just can't. Most of the time people just go "Mm hmm, OK" which to me sounds like "I am just as confused as ever about your choices, but I decided to leave you alone...for now." And when they do that I am ever so grateful that they show some mercy :).
I find so much comfort in my on-line groups be it from yahoo or facebook, ect. It's a huge relief to communicate with people who just "get it". I don't have to explain to them why I believe that I would have to be insane to send my kids to school, or why my dream is to birth at home, or why I believe that God is the one who needs to be Lord of the size of our family and not us. I can just be, be myself, be free and all my fellow freedom pioneers celebrate with me the joys of that freedom, no questions asked.

Gazelle

Yesterday I got a Gazelle glider from freecycle. It is in great condition so I cannot wait to use it! That is if my monkeys can get off it for more than 5 second. I used to own one several years ago but I sold it thinking we were moving out of state. Ever since then I wanted to get one again because it is so easy to use and non-impact on my joints. Now God provided another one for free!
The kids love to swing on it and have spent the entire day fighting over taking turns at it. I should have figured that would happen, LOL.
In other news I need to clean my floors, oh joy. My mop is old and crusty and I don't feel like going to the store to get one (there is some sort of race going on in town and I do NOT feel like dealing with the tourist crowds). So I decided that I would scrub the flood by hand, on my knees just like Cinderella, hee hee. It needed to be done anyways. Those edges around the counters and stove drive me nuts because I can see the floor scum accumulating there and the mom does not reach those. Our hard floor space is not very large, just the linoleum in the kitchen and tile bathrooms.

I found the coolest website the other day. It's called gentlechristianmothers.com .
It's just a bunch of women who share the same beliefs as I do regarding child rearing. It's so awesome because I've been looking for the longest time for a place where I can find support from women who love the Lord and their kids as much as I do. I've found similar places but either the women did not truly believe in peaceful parenting, or they followed a New Age type of philosophy that just doesn't jive with my faith. I'm waiting for the moderators to apoove my aplication so that I can participate in the message boards. I can' wait.

No After All

So I didn't do the chore/job thing after all. Mostly because I haven't had time to set the whole thing up, and also because I have been able to keep the house clean with no problems. Now that we have furniture in the front room the mess gets spread out making it much simpler to keep it in check, and the house looks good! Though we still need to paint and clean the carpet.
And my kiddos are SO good at helping me with out me needing to pay them for it. I haven't scrapped the idea all together, but it is on hold for now.
Christmas is coming so we are dealing with that now. I like seeing the kids' joy at recieving toys and such, but I have to say I'm not too keen on the holidays. I'm no scrooge, I promise. I'm all for people getting into it if they want to. I just find it too plastic and superficial not to mention it is extremily commercial.
I saw a movie where a couple would go on vacation to some tropical destination during the holidays instead of celebrating them. If we didn't have kids we probably would do that too. Or better yet, we would go on a mission trip to truly celebrate the joy and love of Christ with others. I rather use my money for that than to tithe it to the Black Friday gods.
In fact, it is something that I would consider doing with the kids someday, once they get bigger.

Working Chores

I've decided to implement chore charts once again. The main reason is that I need help around the house. I still don't believe in making their life miserable for my convenience, so I will motivate them with good ol' cash. The more I thought about how to do this the more I realised that it can also be a lesson for them in working and earning wages. In past chore charts I also did a money earning model, but I think I will make this one more like a job than just chores.
I will make a sign listing all the "jobs" available, how much each will pay, and by when they need to be done (dead line).
They will have a choice of jobs, meaning I will not assign them specific chores, instead they will chose what they want to work on themselves.
They also will get to chose if they want to work at all or not. If not, that will fine. Just like in the rest of the world, if they work they will earn money, if they don't work they will not. Simple as that.
I will make "time cards" where they will log in the chore they did, and if it was done properly and on time. They will recieve their wages only if the job was done as required, no half effort will be payed for.
Then every 2 weeks they will turn their time cards in and receive their wages, then they are free to spend their money as they wish.
There will also be a "direct deposit" option they can chose which is that instead of me just handing over the cash to them I will be the "Bank" and keep it for them. If they chose to save their money in the Bank they will also earn interest. The longer they keep their money in the Bank the more interest they will earn.
There are some details about this program that I still need to take care of, but I think this is a good way to combine both our belief in freedom of choice, and showing our children that hard work, wise choices and faith in God yield prosperity.

Life has been a roller coaster since August but God has been faithful and all loving as always to us. Two weeks after we had to leave the in-laws house Nick found the best job he's ever had. It comes with so many opportunities for us for now and the future!
About a month and a half after that we found a cute little house in Parker, AZ just a block away from the Colorado river.
I have been a bit stressed out with the kids though. I think all the chaos has hit me in the past couple of weeks and I feel very tired and that makes me more impatient and irritable. I really don't have a reason to not be full joy. I know that I also need to get back to more Bible reading and study also get into some sort of fellowship, not just for me but for the kids and Nick as well.
The relationship with the in-laws is on a healing path. I must admit that I've been reluctant to even communicate with them, but as any Christian knows ignoring the Holy Spirit is all but the hardest thing in the world to do! In my humanness I preferred to get rid of all toxic people in my life for good, but the Lord's plans and higher than mine and perfectly good and He won't give me peace until I obey His command to love even my enemies. Peace does come after obeying Him, even when my flesh resists. I still have some healing to do but I give it to the Lord because I know He will finish His good work in me.
Life is good right now. I feel as if it will only get better. Of course, with the Lord no matter what happens our joy is eternal will surpass any circumstance!
Thank you my precious Jesus!

living situation

Our living situation right now is not a good one. Things are not working out as we had hoped with the family members we share a house with. The kids and I want so badly to move out and have our own home again, but if we do that Nick will have to quit working on our biz and go back to working for someone else. This is a sacrifice we must make. My trust is wholly on the Lord which is why I have not taken matters in to my own hands. If I didn't believe that somehow it will all be OK, I would long ago have done things to change our circumstances. But one thing I am certain of, specially because I have seen in in our life as well as the lives of so many others, when we take matters into our own hands instead of doing God's will the consequences will disastrous.
Part of that is the reason we are in this mess in the first place. If we would have done God's will from the beginning over 10 years ago with the biz instead of relying on our own so called wisdom I know that right now we would have the awesomely abundant life God has always wanted to give us. Instead we are here, trapped in a prison of our own doing having to start from square one.
Sometimes the fear and desperation seem so unbearable, but this time I turn to the Lord instead of my own means. I need to trust in His plan. I need to remember that as hard as life is now we must press on and not make decisions again motivated by impatience and desperation.
Oh, it's not easy to practice self restraint in that matter! But I must once and for all just let go ad let God to His work.
For now we are afflicted and it breaks my heart and ails more than anything that my children have to endure this as well.
I suppose this is a chance to teach them lessons as well. I can show them what happens when one doesn't follow God's will and relies on one's own wisdom instead. Also, a lesson on loving the unlovable (the family we live with) and letting the grace of Christ shine from us to them.
It is an up hill battle to say the least. I have no idea how long this particular road is, and that is not easy to bear, but I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory. (2 Corinthians 4:17)

Nicky asked me if we could go to "Dora, Diego" I was like like "huh?". Then after some questioning I figured out he meant San Diego! He must have over heard us talk about SWC in San Diego next week and now he's all psyched about going. So am I though, yay, can't wait!!!

My Body Is Where God Has Created 4 Miracles...So Far!

My body is now 219lbs at 5′2″. The Lord has me on a journey to love myself just as He created me to be. I’m on it for my sake and that of my kids. Even for my hubby who has always thought of me a beautiful and sexy whether I weight 130 or 230lbs (I’ve wighed both and more while he’s known me), and he hates when I don’t see myself as he and God do which is perfect just as I am. My body is where God has created 4 miracles!!!

Haven't written here for a while. We've been busy, as always (haha). Since the last time the kiddos and I took a trip to California to visit the family for a week. Had a nice time there, but we missed Nick =(. When we got home our fish were dead, save for one so that was an excuse to buy an aquarium complete with 2 more gold fish, an algae sucker fish, and a tiny fiddler crab. Lets see how long those survive, lol.
Rosie discovered the joys of listening to books on CD all the way home. We listened to most of the book during the 5 hour drive. Isabella, amongst other things, works hard on reaching various levels on her Toontown game, and Rosie is too. Nicky has been testing his independence more, and Nick and I are trying to show him how to do it with out disrespecting others. Eva is just becoming more and more curious and loves to take risks. That is why we always have to keep an eye on her, even if from a distance. Though unless she is in true danger of course, I rather let her explore the world with minimal interruptions.

The other day my DD9 and I had a conversation about why we unschool. The subject began when she told me that the father of her BFF asked her, "How can you learn anything when you do nothing all day?". He assumes that because we don't force on our kids any rigid curriculum or "learning" schedules that it means they do nothing and therefore learn nothing all day. That is an illogical statement since, unless one is dead, one cannot truly live life doing nothing. Every human being at all moments of life, even in sleep, is constantly soaking in and processing information as they experience whatever circumstance they happen to be living in.
I asked DD about her opinion on being unschooled vs. traditional homeschool. She said that when I used to homeschool her in the "mini-school" way she felt as if she was "trapped in a cage starving", "desperate" and that she "couldn't wait to get out". She said that she didn't feel like she was learning anything and she simply did the work to get it over with. And that when we began to unschool she finally felt" happy and free" to love learning. That was the first time she had ever expressed her feelings about the subject in that way. Her analogy is perfect for the way I felt like in school too. It's just too bad that it took me a couple of years of homeschooling her for me to realise that I was "trapping" her mind in the same way that schools do to children. But I am grateful to God that He showed me and Nick a better way!