Pictures of Public Humiliation Of Children

I'm so sick of seeing people posting pictures of children being publicly shamed by holding signs or being forced to wear some stupid "get along" shirt with their siblings. Publicly humiliating a child as punishment for committing an undesired behavior does not make him ashamed of what he did, it only makes him ashamed of what is being done TO him! There is a BIG difference. 

Many times we see victims feeling ashamed after being violated in some way when it is not their fault that they were victimized. THAT is the humiliation those children are feeling. They are not learning that their behavior is wrong, they are learning that if you have more power than someone you can humiliate them in order to manipulate them. And we wonder why people in our society are so callused and cruel to each each other. 

Newsflash: those siblings are NOT learning to get along just because parents force them to wear that "get along" shirt together. They are learning to associate misery and humiliation to being with their sibling besides learning that the bigger and more powerful person wins! Worst of all, they are building up anger and resentment toward their parents. Even if some of those children as adults deal with those feelings by excusing their parents because it was done out of "love". Chances are they will grow up to do the same type of manipulation not only to their own children but to other people like their co-workers or their spouses. 

Being a parent is the toughest job in the world, there is no question of it. I think most parents are doing the best they can with what they know. It's time that we learn better ways of teaching our children to be the kind of human beings we want them to be. It begins first by being an example to them of what that is by the way we treat them!

Do No Harm

YES, I so agree with this meme someone posted on Facebook today! I always say when a teenager acts rebellious and disrespectful to her parents it's because she is probably returning the favor of how she was treated as a child. I'm sure there are exceptions, but it is what I have observed for the most part.  Then the parents are clueless wondering what went wrong because they think they did good raising their child with harsh punishments and spankings. Many even think that they should have spanked and punished more! They never realize that the moment they violated the child's human rights to respect and dignity that the trust was broken between them and their child and the child will inevitably would grow to disrespect them and reject their rules because children do as it is done to them. But when a child is raised with respect and dignity the relationship between parent and child becomes stronger and one of trust and mutual respect and that bond goes on to teenagehood and beyond! I know because I have a pre-teen and since we began raising her with respect she has treated us with respect. I see no trace of the problems that the strict parents I know have with their pre-teens or teens. It seems like such common sense but somehow people do not stop to rethink the way they parent even though for many generations it has been shown not to work!

"Do to others as you would have them do to you."~ Jesus Christ (Luke 6:31)

Drawing on the Wall

I was nursing monkey5 in the bedroom when moneky4 came in.  With crayon in hand pointing at the wall and very nonchalantly she asked me "What should I draw mama?".  All my kids have gone through a tagger face where the walls in our home (and a couple of times the walls of our extended families' homes) have become their vast canvas where they would draw stick people and wobbly lined creatures.  With all of them I've had the conversation where I would point out that the walls are not for drawing but that if they want to draw they can use paper. That usually works and they quickly cease their tagging ways.  However with moneky4 it has not been as easy.  I have had that conversation many tomes but she still draws on walls.  Now in my earlier mommy years I would have taken her insistence  as defiance and I would have punished her in some way.  But ever since I have been trying to become a more conscious mom I try to stop and think about the reason behind the behavior.  That morning when she so innocently came in to my bedroom and asked for my opinion on what she should draw, even after our many talks on why she should not draw on the walls made me see her innocence and her desire to express herself in her wall drawings.  A few days before monkey3, who's hobby is to clean the house (no, he did not get it from me!), decided he felt like cleaning the walls.  After monkey4 realised that many of her wall arts had been erased she broke out into sobs of sorrow and anger.  It's then that I began to understand how attached she was to her wall drawing, she was a true artist! So when she asked me for my opinion on what to draw I decided to show her understanding and respect for her desire to draw.  I told her that she still could not draw on the walls (we are renting), but that as soon as we moved and bought our own home I would give her her very own wall where she can draw anything she wanted as many times as she wanted.  He little face lit up with joy and she agreed to draw on paper from now on. That promise is one I fully intend to keep, God willing.

So I Shall Try It Again

I know that I have not kept up very well with writing entries on this blog. When I first began thins blog I was fully intending to do it regularly. Then fear crept in. That fear of exposing too much of my life and the life of my family to total strangers and the fear of being scrutinized and judged by others. Also, the words of my mother growing up who told me never to divulge too much information lest my identity be stolen, my photos be used by some sicko in his web site for other sickos or worse, someone will figure out who I am and who my family is, and they will find us, stalk us, and murder us in the middle of the night while we slept! OK, so that last part about someone finding us, stalking us, killing us was not exactly how my mom put it, but after all her warnings it's the picture I always had in my mind. However after much thought and much more prayer I've decided that I am willing to put more of us out there for various reasons.

One, I really enjoy journaling, specially looking back at journals from years ago and reliving moments in my life both good and not so good and thanking the Lord for all the amazing things HE has done in my life since.

Two, I also love to journal for the sake of my children. I want them to have a record of those same incidents for the same reason that I feel blessed to have them. Also, someday when both Nick and I are gone they can relive those moments they spent with us and hopefully their faith and hope can be encouraged as well. I know there are many ways to keep those records. Photo albums, scrap books, paper journals etc., but I have tried to do those things and failed. Mainly because I have 5 little ones under 11 (yes, some personal info divulged right there, would be stalker comes to mind {{chills}}) and I simply do not have the time nor the energy to put effort into all that scrap booking and such entail. Here however with just a few clicks of the mouse, even as I nurse my baby boy on my lap, I can do it all. I can journal, post pictures, even make it all look decent and all with good spelling (thanks to spell check, ha ha), and which I could NEVER do in the "real" world.

Three, and this is more of a hope than a just reason, perhaps in this vast world of the internet some lady like me, who tries her best to live for the Lord, with her house full of kids, a hubby whom she loves, and more laundry, dirty dishes and dirty floors than she knows what to do with. Not to mention 13 years worth of sleep deprivation and the same hair cut she's had for years, can come and feel that she is not alone in this world. She can say,

"Hey if that goofy, disheveled and overweight chick can do it, shoot, then so can I!"

So here I am, giving it another try. I hope that this time I will find the time to really keep this blog updated as often as possible. I also hope to share pictures of our adventures in Freedom in Christ, and even a few more personal details. In the mean time I will work on defeating that stalker-phobia of mine by remembering that the Lord is our Great protector who, as the lyrics of one of my favorite songs of all time by Veggy Tales says,

"God is bigger than the boogie man".

Love and Blessings!

My heart swells with exitment at the thought of the potential that my dream of going RVing with my clan will finally come true!  Hubby and I have been discussing it for several years, but lately the discussions have been more of plans and not just dreams.  It began a couple of weeks ago with him thinking that there could be a chance for him to get a promotion  at work.  He has been sacrificing so much of his time including time with us and working crazy hard and long hours for that company so when the general manager quit he figured he was next in line for that position.  Well, long story short it seems  his superiors (or slave owners as we so lovingly like to call them) have over looked him and have given the promotion to someone else from another store.  Even though this company is not his dream job it was a disapointment when he realised he would not be getting that promotiomn we feel he so greatly deserves.  But we believe when God allows a  door to close it means that it was the wrong exit so we need to let him lead us to the right one!
Well, after I had a good cry in the shower from the frustration that thes people did not recognise his hard work and from disapontment of loosing the higher income that the promotion wuld have given us I realised that in truth I have been praying for us to get our freedom back that we had when he used to have his own business.   The more I thought about it the more I remember our original dream of traveling the country as a family!  I talked with hubby about it the other day and today he was telling me about some RVs for sale he found online.  The wonder of what adventures could be if God grants us the ability to take off and see the coultry have completly eclipsed any disapointment  from hubby not getting promoted.  In fact I am already greaful for what is to come!  Even if it isn't an RVing life, I know it will be good.  Better than what we could imagine! :)

Joshua David

I'm almost 27 weeks (on Saturday) along in my 5th pregnancy. Nick and I finally decided on the name Joshua David for this new little boy. I am so excited to have a home birth! I am not feeling scared at all thinking of the hard work the birth may be. In fact I am looking forward to this totally new experience. Funny to say "new" even though it will be my 5th birth. However it will be the first time that things are being done as I want and not as some doctor or hospital staff wants. Can't wait! Just 3 more months to go.

midwife

I am so excited that finally I got to mee to a midwife so that I can have a home birth! That has been my dream for so many years. The midwife was very informative. She is a LPN (nurse) and has 20 years experience at a hospital. She answered all our quesrions and eased our concerns. Thankfully Nick was able to be here for the meeting. If all goes well I will go to Phoenix for the first few monthly appointments and she will meet me at my in-laws house in Buckeye. Then she will travel here for the last few appointments before baby is born. She will charge us $2800 instead of her initial estimate of $3500 since we are willing to travel to Buckeye for some appointments. My first appointment will be after I am 13 weeks along, I am 5 weeks now. I CANNOT WAIT!!! Thank you Lord!