So I Shall Try It Again

I know that I have not kept up very well with writing entries on this blog. When I first began thins blog I was fully intending to do it regularly. Then fear crept in. That fear of exposing too much of my life and the life of my family to total strangers and the fear of being scrutinized and judged by others. Also, the words of my mother growing up who told me never to divulge too much information lest my identity be stolen, my photos be used by some sicko in his web site for other sickos or worse, someone will figure out who I am and who my family is, and they will find us, stalk us, and murder us in the middle of the night while we slept! OK, so that last part about someone finding us, stalking us, killing us was not exactly how my mom put it, but after all her warnings it's the picture I always had in my mind. However after much thought and much more prayer I've decided that I am willing to put more of us out there for various reasons.

One, I really enjoy journaling, specially looking back at journals from years ago and reliving moments in my life both good and not so good and thanking the Lord for all the amazing things HE has done in my life since.

Two, I also love to journal for the sake of my children. I want them to have a record of those same incidents for the same reason that I feel blessed to have them. Also, someday when both Nick and I are gone they can relive those moments they spent with us and hopefully their faith and hope can be encouraged as well. I know there are many ways to keep those records. Photo albums, scrap books, paper journals etc., but I have tried to do those things and failed. Mainly because I have 5 little ones under 11 (yes, some personal info divulged right there, would be stalker comes to mind {{chills}}) and I simply do not have the time nor the energy to put effort into all that scrap booking and such entail. Here however with just a few clicks of the mouse, even as I nurse my baby boy on my lap, I can do it all. I can journal, post pictures, even make it all look decent and all with good spelling (thanks to spell check, ha ha), and which I could NEVER do in the "real" world.

Three, and this is more of a hope than a just reason, perhaps in this vast world of the internet some lady like me, who tries her best to live for the Lord, with her house full of kids, a hubby whom she loves, and more laundry, dirty dishes and dirty floors than she knows what to do with. Not to mention 13 years worth of sleep deprivation and the same hair cut she's had for years, can come and feel that she is not alone in this world. She can say,

"Hey if that goofy, disheveled and overweight chick can do it, shoot, then so can I!"

So here I am, giving it another try. I hope that this time I will find the time to really keep this blog updated as often as possible. I also hope to share pictures of our adventures in Freedom in Christ, and even a few more personal details. In the mean time I will work on defeating that stalker-phobia of mine by remembering that the Lord is our Great protector who, as the lyrics of one of my favorite songs of all time by Veggy Tales says,

"God is bigger than the boogie man".

Love and Blessings!

My heart swells with exitment at the thought of the potential that my dream of going RVing with my clan will finally come true!  Hubby and I have been discussing it for several years, but lately the discussions have been more of plans and not just dreams.  It began a couple of weeks ago with him thinking that there could be a chance for him to get a promotion  at work.  He has been sacrificing so much of his time including time with us and working crazy hard and long hours for that company so when the general manager quit he figured he was next in line for that position.  Well, long story short it seems  his superiors (or slave owners as we so lovingly like to call them) have over looked him and have given the promotion to someone else from another store.  Even though this company is not his dream job it was a disapointment when he realised he would not be getting that promotiomn we feel he so greatly deserves.  But we believe when God allows a  door to close it means that it was the wrong exit so we need to let him lead us to the right one!
Well, after I had a good cry in the shower from the frustration that thes people did not recognise his hard work and from disapontment of loosing the higher income that the promotion wuld have given us I realised that in truth I have been praying for us to get our freedom back that we had when he used to have his own business.   The more I thought about it the more I remember our original dream of traveling the country as a family!  I talked with hubby about it the other day and today he was telling me about some RVs for sale he found online.  The wonder of what adventures could be if God grants us the ability to take off and see the coultry have completly eclipsed any disapointment  from hubby not getting promoted.  In fact I am already greaful for what is to come!  Even if it isn't an RVing life, I know it will be good.  Better than what we could imagine! :)

Joshua David

I'm almost 27 weeks (on Saturday) along in my 5th pregnancy. Nick and I finally decided on the name Joshua David for this new little boy. I am so excited to have a home birth! I am not feeling scared at all thinking of the hard work the birth may be. In fact I am looking forward to this totally new experience. Funny to say "new" even though it will be my 5th birth. However it will be the first time that things are being done as I want and not as some doctor or hospital staff wants. Can't wait! Just 3 more months to go.

midwife

I am so excited that finally I got to mee to a midwife so that I can have a home birth! That has been my dream for so many years. The midwife was very informative. She is a LPN (nurse) and has 20 years experience at a hospital. She answered all our quesrions and eased our concerns. Thankfully Nick was able to be here for the meeting. If all goes well I will go to Phoenix for the first few monthly appointments and she will meet me at my in-laws house in Buckeye. Then she will travel here for the last few appointments before baby is born. She will charge us $2800 instead of her initial estimate of $3500 since we are willing to travel to Buckeye for some appointments. My first appointment will be after I am 13 weeks along, I am 5 weeks now. I CANNOT WAIT!!! Thank you Lord!

4 weeks 5 days.

I feel great! Morning sickness has not hit me full force, though today I got full at dinner and I got 'rid' of half my meal the way it came in, lol. That's cool because I can now have a good motivation not to over eat. I feel peceful and serene, even blissful. It's been a GREAT week for all of us here at home since we found out about the new baby, thank be to God!

#5

Yes, this week we found out that I am preggers with our 5th baby!!! We are so happy and Praising God for this new blessing. As our family grows with love I experience more and more joy and peace in our lives! When we decided to give to God our family and let Him be the true Lord of it it was one of the most liberating things we've ever done! We are free to enjoy our children knowing God will provide for the babies He creates with us, in me and for us to love are raise. My husband and I are free to give ourselves wholly and fully to eachother! No need to be "careful", we just become one, fully immersed in the moment of our love, whenever we want ;). The freedom of not worrying about all the things we used to when we thought we had to control our reproduction is like taking a 1000lb gorilla off our marriage. When we are free in Christ by truly making Him LORD of ALL, we are free indeed!!! Praise you Jesus!

20 Questions and living free

The only thing about living a free and unique life is having to explain yourself to people. In my unschooling,Christian life I've had to answer a legion of questions and objections from people. Most are well meaning and concerned, specially since they are ignorant to the different reason why I chose to live the way I do. They have not done the extensive praying and searching and researching that led me to certain conclusions. Some people however object just for the sake of contradicting me, or so it seems. Their arguments are ridiculous and idiotic. They just spew out what comes to mind with out first thinking through what they are saying. I try to answer them but it's like throwing pearls to swine, or like arguing with a barking dog about why he needs to stop barking. It's pointless really. Either way, there are times when I am eager to explain to those who truly are interested in learning more about my life. But many times I am just not in the mood to answer inquisitions. How can I sum up in a 30 minute conversation a life time of experience? I just can't. Most of the time people just go "Mm hmm, OK" which to me sounds like "I am just as confused as ever about your choices, but I decided to leave you alone...for now." And when they do that I am ever so grateful that they show some mercy :).
I find so much comfort in my on-line groups be it from yahoo or facebook, ect. It's a huge relief to communicate with people who just "get it". I don't have to explain to them why I believe that I would have to be insane to send my kids to school, or why my dream is to birth at home, or why I believe that God is the one who needs to be Lord of the size of our family and not us. I can just be, be myself, be free and all my fellow freedom pioneers celebrate with me the joys of that freedom, no questions asked.