The other day my DD9 and I had a conversation about why we unschool. The subject began when she told me that the father of her BFF asked her, "How can you learn anything when you do nothing all day?". He assumes that because we don't force on our kids any rigid curriculum or "learning" schedules that it means they do nothing and therefore learn nothing all day. That is an illogical statement since, unless one is dead, one cannot truly live life doing nothing. Every human being at all moments of life, even in sleep, is constantly soaking in and processing information as they experience whatever circumstance they happen to be living in.
I asked DD about her opinion on being unschooled vs. traditional homeschool. She said that when I used to homeschool her in the "mini-school" way she felt as if she was "trapped in a cage starving", "desperate" and that she "couldn't wait to get out". She said that she didn't feel like she was learning anything and she simply did the work to get it over with. And that when we began to unschool she finally felt" happy and free" to love learning. That was the first time she had ever expressed her feelings about the subject in that way. Her analogy is perfect for the way I felt like in school too. It's just too bad that it took me a couple of years of homeschooling her for me to realise that I was "trapping" her mind in the same way that schools do to children. But I am grateful to God that He showed me and Nick a better way!

I know I need to add more pix on here. I would like to start a picture journal. I have some friends who do something called "project 365" where they take a pic every day of the year. Even though I didn't start at the beginning of the year I still think it would be cool to do.

Adios!

I've been felling the enemy's attacka lateley. Thoughts of could have, should have would have have ben reeling in my mind. When that happens I do as God's word tells me to do I resist Satan and i begin to think of all that is good in my life. I have much to to be greatful for, much more than I have to complain about! But the regrets are something I always have to fight against. Those are mostly of choices my husband and I hav made. Not all bad choices we've made I regret however. But there are a couple I do. Right now I don't see a way out of our current situation. In fact, ceratin matter have arisen that might get us deeper into it. My husband sees those as good things but I see those as tightening the chains around our family. From past experinces I know that my isnticts have ususally been correct, though I do not depend on that but on the Lord.
There is a movie I like called "Cast Away". The main character is a guy who is busy going about his life when his plane ends up crashing in the middle of the Pacific and he is washed ashore of a desert island. Despite his best efforts to escape, even by death, he is unable to. Finally on day, 4 years after the crash the tide washes in a big scrap of metal from a port-o-potty and he ends up using that as a sail that allows him to escape and eventualy be rescued. The whole experience made him into a better person, even though while he was in the island all alone all he could do is just survive.
I feel like I am in that island with no control over what happens next. I try and try to escape but all my efforts are in vain. I am tired, but unlike that man I am not alone. I have my Lord Jesus Christ who sustains me through this moment and through this season He has made me more like the woman He created me to be. I have sen more clearer than ever many of my worst impurities. I've discovered I'm not as good as I once thought. I've discovered that the darkness in my soul is much deeper and much uglier than I could have ever realised had I not been walking through this desert island. Although it has not been easy, this period in my life has been one of the best circumstances for me because the Lord is refining me like I probably couldn't have been had things gone as I would have liked them to. Even as I write this I am greatful for that, even though the enemy still attacks me in my vounerable state. I rest in this:

"But He said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in your weakness'
Therefore i will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (2Corinthians 12:9)

Wow, so I boast about my weakness so that Christ's pwer rests on me. God Almighty's power is made prefect in my weakness!
If my life has to crash and if I must be stranded in a small desert island so that Christ's power is made perfect in me then let it be so!!!
I know that when the time is perfect in His will God will allow the tide to bring me a sail, but a greater sail is already here by the shedding of his blood and I have been saved and set free from my chains forever!

I've been having bad lower back aches or the past week. I refuse to turn into a back aching whiny old lady at 31 (lol) so I've decided to lose 30lbs. I need to lose a lot more than that but I like to do small goals at a time so that the task doesn't seem to daunting for me and I quit. Since Monday I've been doing Slim Fast. I do a shake for bf, fruit for lunch and snack and then a regular dinner. I don't know if I've lost weight yet, but the last time I did SF in December I lost 10lbs in 2 weeks. My obesity is not what gave me the back pain. About 10 years ago I lifted something very heavy and that messed me up. Usually though my back doesn't bother me until late in pregnancies, but this time unfortunately I am not pregnant yet my back is aching. I think though that this time I threw out my back while cleaning our KIA van. I hopee that by loosing a big chunk of fat, specially off my belly, it will take strain away and I will feel better.

As for the rest of the familia, the kids have been so happy that we have our van back. We've been out almost everyday to the park and the library and such. I've missed it too! There have been times that we've felt like Rapunzels, stuck in our tower with no way out. The kids get bored and I have had to find ways to keep them busy. For the most part it has been tolerable, but my babies and I need to get out most days. God is so good to us though and I am so grateful He has provided for us to get the van fixed and here to AZ. Now I can make more plans to take advantage of the free museum days and to explore more of the area with the kids. I know there are many nice outdoor spots to walk about around here. I have to do more research on that. I would also love for us to begin doing volunteer work. I'm not sure where we can do that and include the little ones like Eva and Nicky, so I pray there are places that will take us. I want our kids to get used to not just thinking about themselves and that they think they need, but that they learn to follow in the steps of our Savior Jesus Christ and put the needs of others above their own. That is a lesson I also need to learn.