Part of that is the reason we are in this mess in the first place. If we would have done God's will from the beginning over 10 years ago with the biz instead of relying on our own so called wisdom I know that right now we would have the awesomely abundant life God has always wanted to give us. Instead we are here, trapped in a prison of our own doing having to start from square one.
Sometimes the fear and desperation seem so unbearable, but this time I turn to the Lord instead of my own means. I need to trust in His plan. I need to remember that as hard as life is now we must press on and not make decisions again motivated by impatience and desperation.
Oh, it's not easy to practice self restraint in that matter! But I must once and for all just let go ad let God to His work.
For now we are afflicted and it breaks my heart and ails more than anything that my children have to endure this as well.
I suppose this is a chance to teach them lessons as well. I can show them what happens when one doesn't follow God's will and relies on one's own wisdom instead. Also, a lesson on loving the unlovable (the family we live with) and letting the grace of Christ shine from us to them.
It is an up hill battle to say the least. I have no idea how long this particular road is, and that is not easy to bear, but I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength.
